The Gusband Diaries

• Charisma
• Uniqueness
• Nerve
• Talent

“And, remember, if you can’t love yourself, how the hell you gonna love somebody else? Can I get an “AMEN!” up in herre?” - Ru Paul

…guys on dating websites for a moment. Please.

Now, I am referring to gay dating websites, but I am sure the ladies out there might share similar moments of frustration. I just don’t get guys on dating websites. I get that the internet gives you this loose power to feel all high & mighty, but there should still be some form of etiquette and manners. I mean, where has all that gone? Where? I ‘m looking for it but can’t find an ounce. 

Just because this wonderful place called the internet gives you a certain amount of anonymity does not give you the right to act like a complete douche bag jerk face. Yes, I am talking to you guy! I’m talking to you who is:

• rude
• obnoxious
• judgmental
• egotistical

Because I guarantee in real life you are just as lost and scared and hopeless as the rest of us. Being on the internet gives you some sort of ego boost because you have that power in your finger to click a button and type words that you would never really say if you met someone in person. It basically gives you the power to be a dick head. 

Is that really a power you want to wield?

Just remember, dick head: Every power has a drawback.

You know what the draw back to being a dick head is? You don’t find love. True - you might have meaningless sex for the rest of your life. But, it will always be meaningless and you will grow old alone and be lonely and sitting on a porch with fifty cats wishing you would have been polite and well-mannered so that you could find a good guy instead of another dick head for a quick fuck.

Think about it, guy. Think about it.

• Being
• In
• Total
• Control of
• Herself

This is so good!!!

thetragicgreek:

1. Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren’t full yet, and the world needs more children.
7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.
9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

Anonymous asked: Who is your Valentine?

I had someone who wished they could be, but it just can’t be because of circumstance. I am sure any one of my friends would have been happy to spend Valentine’s Day with me. I am 50% introvert, so I ended up spending half of the day sick in bed, but our cat (Milo) kept me good company so he is like one of my Valentines. I tend to enjoy my solitude, so it was nice especially after the morning’s kerfuffle. Then I went to dinner with my parents, who shared their Valentine dinner plans with me. The funny thing is, my parents have never really celebrated Valentine’s Day outwardly. Maybe a nice dinner and spending time with each other. If anything, they have taught me that it is not about cards, gifts, chocolate, or sex. I mean, all those things are nice, but it is really all about romance. When you have mastered the skill of being romantic without the use of cards, gifts, chocolate, or sex then you know you are a true romantic. My parents are true romantics and are my constant inspiration. 

So, to answer your question in brief: my Valentines were a cat and my parents. 

Yeah. Now I need chocolate. Stat.